How did you like church?

I’m participating in a community theatre production of THE TRIP TO BOUNTIFUL.  The young woman who plays my “wife” recently attended worship where I preach.  I asked her via e-mail how she liked church.  Her response is one of the most thoughtful and endearing I’ve ever received from a first-time visitor.  With her permission, I’m sharing her message with you:

well, i gotta tell you that it was very hard. i haven’t stepped foot in church (but one time) since i lost my grandfather in ’98 (he was a deacon/elder at Church of Christ in Jamestown). it’s like, i do everything imaginable to keep from feeling any emotions except humor and anger (the easiest to deal with); so when i was there, i kept choking back the sadness the whole time. Pam [who came with her] probably thought i had a chicken bone lodged in my throat

I know that it’s silly & selfish of me to keep away from my Father’s house because of an inability to deal with my past (believe me, you’re dealing with a girl that’s just about seen & done it all), especially since Jesus is the sum total of forgiveness and new beginnings; but when i get  close to those things, i swear i could just be swallowed whole and washed away. like i could open my mouth to cry and i’d never stop. man, talk about unloading… i’ll bet it’s difficult (but, i know, rewarding to an extent) to always be dealing and coping with others’ troubles. i hope that YOU have someone to help you through things (?)

but one bright (unexpected) turn: after I left church, i contacted a very very very bad influence in my life and gracefully asked this person to keep away. just one tiny step; but i realized that i DO want to be happy, and that i AM willing to change in order to become happy. who’da thunkit? thanks for inviting me. does your church have any ”extras” (you know, groups or activites or whatnot)?

Lena