Commitment: How

I’m not going to sugarcoat it.  If we commit to anybody or anything, our heart will be broken.  The church will hire the wrong man.  The council will strain at a gnat and swallow a camel.  The hours will be longer, the pay will be smaller, the frustrations greater than we expected.  A child may turn away from the faith we raised him in.  A friend may betray us.  A spouse may say, “I don’t love you anymore.”

How do we stay put in such situations?  When every inclination is to cut and run, where do we find the power to stick it out?  First and foremost, we must commit ourselves to taking time.  If you want to know how to have a long marriage, if you want to know the benefits of staying together, don’t go to your buddies who’ve bailed out.  Go talk to the little old couple you see feeding pigeons in the park.  Friends, anybody who thinks young married people had it easier sixty years ago—no money problems, no mental illness, no adultery—has another think coming.   We’ve just made it easier to get out.  In the old days, the societal pressure was to stay married.   Today, it’s the exact opposite.

Regardless of the pressures, however, the idea of commitment is meaningless without time. It’s hard  for our generation to grasp this.   We’ve obliterated time with our streak-of-lightning cars and broadband computers, with fast food and fast tracks to success, with wall-to-wall entertainment and incessant electronic communication.  (You want to drive watch some people go nuts?  Take away their cell phones.  I mean while they’re driving! ) We’ve outlawed boredom and rejected pain.

I’m about to say something that some will misunderstand, but I can’t avoid it.  I’m not being ironic or trying to be clever.  I’m tellin you the simple truth.  You want to find out the real worth of commitment, the real benefit of staying put, sticking it out, and standing pat?  Only time will tell.